How Unfortunate
by Living on a Rainbow
Summary: Otousan! I'm going to be Uzumaki Kira one day!" Sasuke's daughter, Naruto's son. This is highly unfortunate for Uchiha Sasuke. SasuHina, NaruIno, OC/OC. "I'll kill him." Rated T for Naruto's pottymouth.


**_Disclaimer: Only in my head. Are you in my head? ...I don't think so. So therefore, Me does not own Naruto._**

"Otousan?" Kira turned to her father, who was busy sipping his tea.

"Hai, Kira?" Sasuke turned to her nonchalantly. It was probably another one of her curious questions. Again.

"You said that my first kiss would tell me who I would marry," She began, her grey eyes looking at her parents inquisitively.

"Yes," He nodded disinterestedly.

Hinata bit her lip, restraining a laugh. Her husband shot her a steady look. Sasuke didn't need his wife calling him on his lie.

_"Otousan?"_

_"Hai, Kira?" Sasuke sighed. His daughter's curious nature was tiring. She must have gotten it from Hinata._

_"Who will I marry when I become of age?'_

_Sasuke visibly choked on his tea. Last time he had checked, his daughter was only six. Did she really need to approach him now?_

_He set his cup of tea down, turning to face his daughter. As much as he'd like to say that she'd be locked up in the compound by the time she reaches sixteen, away from the perverted male eyes of Konoha, he was sure neither Kira or Hinata would appreciate it._

_"It depends who your first kiss was," Sasuke concealed his queasiness. "Make sure you don't kiss anyone. You'll have to marry them."_

_"Oh." She said thoughtfully, "Was Okasan your first kiss?"_

_The girl's father visibly cringed. "Yes," He lied._

"Guess what? I'm marrying Akira-kun!" Kira grinned, highlighting her pale face and strange eyes.

Sasuke's visibly spit out what he was drinking, coughing. Hinata dutifully pounded on his back until his coughing fit subsided.

"Otousan, are you alright?" Kai, Kira's younger sibling, asked. His onyx eyes were marred with concern.

"I'm fine," He insisted. "Who exactly are you marrying, Kira?"

Kai had excused himself from the table. Sasuke could faintly hear Kai's laughter from upstairs.

"I'm going to be Uzumaki Kira one day, Otousan!"

That was all he needed.

"I'll kill him."

"Ah! Sasuke-kun," Hinata placed her hand on his shoulder, "I-I don't think kill-killing the H-hokage's son is a-a good idea..."

"Fine. I'll kill the kid's baka for a father," He resolved. "I'm excused. Come, Kira."

"Hai, Otousan!" She exclaimed, confused at his behavior.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Otousan! I'm marrying Kira!" Akira exclaimed over his ramen.

"Isn't he a bit young for marriage?" Ino wondered, looking over at her husband. "I blame his development on you, Naruto."

"What? Me?!"

"Yes, you!"

Akira coughed. "I _said_ I'm marrying Kira when I get older!"

"What?"

Back to square one...

"I'm marrying Kira! Otousan, get with the program here!"

Ino giggled, poking her red faced husband.

"Why are you marrying her?" Ino asked curiously.

"We kissed! And then she told me that her dad told her that when someone has their first kiss, that's who they marry!"

"He obviously forgot to mention his little lip locking action with you, Naruto," Ino giggled.

"Shh! Not in front of the kid!" Naruto glared at her over his ramen before turning to Akira.

"Uchiha Kira...Sasuke's kid?" Naruto asked.

"Uh huh! She's on my team! Remember?"

"OH SHIT! SASUKE'S GONNA KILL ME! SHIT, SHIT, -- OW!"

"Naruto! No swearing!"

"Fine! CRAP, CRAP, SASUKE'S GONNA FREAKING KILL ME!"

The Hokage was now pacing around the dining room, muttering curse words.

"...Otousan...?"

"He's gonna kill me, oh crap, crap," Naruto almost cried, "WAIT! _I'm _the Hokage here! YEAH! He can't kill me! I have the power!"

Ino cocked her head to the side, looking out the window. "Oh, hey, look! There's Sasuke-kun!"

"Ino-chan. That is _not_ funny!"

"No really, Otousan! Okasan is right! Uchiha-san is outside."

"AH! HIDE ME! QUICK, AKIRA! In case he goes for you, too!"

"Naruto," Ino hit him upside the head, "Be a man."

"I don't wanna be a man!"

Ino sweatdropped.

There was a knock on the door.

"Oh, shit!"

"Crap, Otousan."

"Oh, crap!" He corrected himself, "Out of all days, I had to give my escorts _today_ off?!"

His wife sighed. "I'll get the door."

Sasuke had on a dark look in contrast to the bright smile Kira wore.

"Hi, Sasuke-kun!" Ino greeted, "Hi, Kira-chan!"

"Hi!"

"Where is he?" Sasuke asked.

"Who? Naruto or Akira?"

"Naruto."

Ino laughed. "Just don't kill him. He's scared as it is."

Sasuke merely smirked. "Take Kira."

"Okay. Hey, Akira! Kira-chan's here!"

Sasuke backpedaled.

"On second thought," He said, "Kira, sit on that bench over there."

"Why?"

Sasuke poked her in the forehead. "Go."

Kira pouted, but complied.

Naruto came to the door a minute later, looking sheepish.

"Hey, teme," He rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"Dobe."

"...What's up?"

"Your son kissed my daughter."

"Oh, really? I didn't know!" He lied, laughing, "Hahaha, how funny, right?"

"Incredibly."

"So...I --"

"I hate you."

"What?" He sweatdropped.

"_You're _the Hokage! _You _put them in the same team. Therefore, it's _your_ fault!"

"Whoa, whoa! It's not _my _fault they kissed!"

"Ha! Your son sexually harassed my daughter!"

"He did NOT!"

It was heated now.

"Yes he DID!" Sasuke insisted. "What kind of six year old would kiss your son?!"

"Are you saying my son isn't good enough for your daughter?!" The blonde reddened.  
"That is _exactly _what I'm saying, dobe!"

"Teme!"

"Dobe!"

"TEME!"

"DOBE!"

Ino, Kira, and Akira sweatdropped.

"Face it, teme! Our kids are gonna get marriend and we'll be _inlaws_!" Naruto yelled, "Yeah! I went there! Believe it!"

"Like. Hell. My daughter would never marry your son. She wouldn't even consider it."

"Yes, I would!" Kira piped up from her seat on the bench.

"Kira, please. Let the adults handle this." Sasuke said civilly.

"Adults? What adults? _You're _acting like a baby!"

"At least I'm _acting_! You're just an all around wimp!"

"That doesn't even make sense!" Naruto had hunched his shoulders, clenching their fists. He reached for the nearest chair.

Ino decided to cut in. "Naruto! Drop the chair!"

"But Ino-chan --"

"Drop the chair. Now. There are kids watching."

"Alright, alright," Naruto grumbled, setting down the chair.

And he was met by a fist.

"That, Hokage-baka, is for having a peeping tom for a son. Tell him not to touch my kid again."

And with that, Sasuke gently grabbed hold of Kira's hand, pulling her along back to the compound.

"Otousan, why did you punch the Hokage?"

"Because I can't punch his son, Kira."

-x-

The next day at dinner, Kira had an announcement.

"Guess what? I proposed to Akira!"

Sasuke choked on his onigiri. Hinata giggled.

"What?" He asked. He'd be damned if he had to go kick some sense into the dobe again.

"I proposed to Akira! We're getting married!"

Kai laughed, and even though the young Mikoto didn't know what was going on, she giggled too. Hinata was highly amused, though trying hard to hide her laughter.

Sasuke excused himself from the table, standing. It was time to kick some sense into the kid now. Kai would join him, too.

_How unfortunate. For _them, Sasuke thought smugly.

As he was walking away, Kira had one last statement.

"Otousan, you and the Hokage will be inlaws! Isn't that great?!"

_Thud._

"Okasan," Kai began, "I think Otousan fainted."

"Yes," Hinata giggled, "How unfortunate."

**_Author's Note: Poor Sasuke._**


End file.
